So, I was chatting with an acquaintance the other day and she
regaled me with tales after tales of what her ‘cupcake’ – yes, she actually
calls him that – does for her and how they are so happy together and blah blah…
Now, I’m not someone who believes in love but seeing a cute couple together
sure makes me smile, and I do enjoy listening to love stories. So sitting
there, hearing some of her stories, I too got carried away to my dreamland
where me and him would be cosily curled up in front of a bonfire and… Oh well,
Earth to me.
Anyways, that did make me wonder as to why I, despite being
pretty happy with my life, would want to have a boyfriend. And that made me
compile this list:
1. To gift boxers: Now, on a recent trip to Goa and during
the sale season my eyes somehow ended up on those super cute and amazing
cartoon boxers on display everywhere. There were Johnny Bravos and Spongebobs
and Simpsons, one liners and even some Tom & Jerrys! Oh the cuteness! Such ‘aww’ness
on display and I could do nothing but look. I couldn’t possibly buy a stock of
boxers and hide them in my cupboard waiting for the “right one”, could I? Yes,
I wished ardently then I had a boyfriend…
2. To call and yell at: Every girl (and many boys too) has
her PMS days and as an FB post rightly said, she can kill you those days for
even breathing. But who ‘you’? Who to vent this out on? Normally, my super
sweet best friend acts as a kind punch-bag but in recent times he too has gone
ahead and gotten a girlfriend. Now, he wouldn’t want two females burdening him
with the world’s sorrows, would he? Damn, I need a boyfriend to scream at and
still end up getting chocolate ice-cream…
3. To call me nice things: C’mon! Everyone secretly loves
having a pet-name their ‘someone special’ gives them. Admit it! So be it muffin
or cutie pie or honey or even the less sweet and hardly creative baby/sweetheart,
I like hearing it at times. And it does kinda sound weird if your besties and
girl gangs keep calling you sugar plum… Where art thou, walnut cake?
4. To buy me useless stuff: Yes, end of the day, and even
the beginning of it, I am a girl! I do sometimes like tiny (subjective), waste
things. Like a… Like a… Oh well, something. So, yes, when I feel the urge to
enter a shop, any shop and just shop it’d be nice to have someone with a tall,
nice presence stand behind me and air his opinions which I can happily brush
aside and buy exactly what I want. It’ll definitely be sone pe suhaga if he pays for it too…
5. To dream of: How long, whatever her imagination powers
be, how long will a girl dream of Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp or the closer to home
Abhay Deol? And then she knows the fantasies aren’t coming true… With a
boyfriend I can dream of romantic beach walks, dark circle inducing midnight
conversations, spin fairy tales, etc, etc. And chances are the dreams will come
true. Fun, ain’t it?
6. Cute mid-day romance: Have a bad day? Fear not! Your
personal mood swinger is here. Rough day at work? Just unburden it on him! He
will listen to you, give solutions and you might even get a little something to
perk you up! And I definitely want that little something. And what about cute
romantic message sharing or chatting while in respective offices? Or sudden
short sweet calls… Hmmm…
7. Bragging: Ever since I’ve hung out with girls, which is
practically all my life, I’ve learnt one thing. Girls LOVE to brag about their
bitter or better halves. And they can go on for hours. Generally I’m the one
going “ooh” and “aaah” and “awesome” but what fun would it be if the tables
turned and I could brag too! Yeah. You know what? He can cook too! And he
cooked me a three course meal the other day and got me a tub of chocolate
ice-cream… He even gifted me a day at the spa…
8. Get drunk with:
Booze is good and the company often makes it better. But drinking with friends
always has disadvantages. You have respective homes to get back to and most
often than not, you are alone. That not only means rationing your drinking but
also means trying to stay sober enough to give the autowalla or cabbie
directions to your place. But drinking with a boyfriend? Go all the way. Get
sloshed! Talk total crap and he will still find it cute! And of course, the
free ride home never hurts… There honey, see the unicorn?
9. To just be loved: Yes your friends love you. So does
family. And loads of people. But being loved by that special someone is
completely different. It’s a beautiful world where just the two of you exist
and there’s no need for anyone else. You can be you and he understands. You
need not be you and he still understands. Love, I just felt like talking…
10. T.H.I.S: No, no, not an acronym like Granger’s S.P.E.W.
It is just This. This post. What levels of boredom have I reached to start
writing such lame posts? And this clearly proves the 500+ contacts on FB and
the yet-to-be-counted contacts on my phone are surely of no use in cases of
extreme boredomness. No offense to anyone, but I guess I’m just a moody woman
hard to please. Hopefully my knight in Armani armour will whisk me away to a
boredom-free land…
*To kindly be taken
with a pinch of salt, iced tequila and a lemon wedge.
nice
ReplyDeleteThanks Ronak! :)
Deletehahahaha! Loved it and am sharing it with my friends!I know they will love it too!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sunita! Glad to know you liked it! :)
Delete:)
ReplyDelete:)
DeleteHaha Funny! I read T.H.I.S!
ReplyDelete:D
DeleteHaha! Good one...and yeah i did read T.H.I.S...
ReplyDeleteHaha thanks Anagha! :)
DeletePoints 3, 6 and 9
ReplyDelete<3
Two reasons I don't want a boyfriend: I am a male and I am straight. :P
ReplyDeleteHaha very valid reasons Tejas! In complete agreement :P
DeleteRutu, Lovely piece! Made me think of the reasons I'd want a boyfriend too :P
ReplyDeleteHaha! Thanks Apoorva! :) Think up a few, and we could prolly do a piece together! ;)
Delete