10 Reasons Why I Want A Boyfriend

So, I was chatting with an acquaintance the other day and she regaled me with tales after tales of what her ‘cupcake’ – yes, she actually calls him that – does for her and how they are so happy together and blah blah… Now, I’m not someone who believes in love but seeing a cute couple together sure makes me smile, and I do enjoy listening to love stories. So sitting there, hearing some of her stories, I too got carried away to my dreamland where me and him would be cosily curled up in front of a bonfire and… Oh well, Earth to me.

Anyways, that did make me wonder as to why I, despite being pretty happy with my life, would want to have a boyfriend. And that made me compile this list:

1. To gift boxers: Now, on a recent trip to Goa and during the sale season my eyes somehow ended up on those super cute and amazing cartoon boxers on display everywhere. There were Johnny Bravos and Spongebobs and Simpsons, one liners and even some Tom & Jerrys! Oh the cuteness! Such ‘aww’ness on display and I could do nothing but look. I couldn’t possibly buy a stock of boxers and hide them in my cupboard waiting for the “right one”, could I? Yes, I wished ardently then I had a boyfriend…

2. To call and yell at: Every girl (and many boys too) has her PMS days and as an FB post rightly said, she can kill you those days for even breathing. But who ‘you’? Who to vent this out on? Normally, my super sweet best friend acts as a kind punch-bag but in recent times he too has gone ahead and gotten a girlfriend. Now, he wouldn’t want two females burdening him with the world’s sorrows, would he? Damn, I need a boyfriend to scream at and still end up getting chocolate ice-cream…

3. To call me nice things: C’mon! Everyone secretly loves having a pet-name their ‘someone special’ gives them. Admit it! So be it muffin or cutie pie or honey or even the less sweet and hardly creative baby/sweetheart, I like hearing it at times. And it does kinda sound weird if your besties and girl gangs keep calling you sugar plum… Where art thou, walnut cake?

4. To buy me useless stuff: Yes, end of the day, and even the beginning of it, I am a girl! I do sometimes like tiny (subjective), waste things. Like a… Like a… Oh well, something. So, yes, when I feel the urge to enter a shop, any shop and just shop it’d be nice to have someone with a tall, nice presence stand behind me and air his opinions which I can happily brush aside and buy exactly what I want. It’ll definitely be sone pe suhaga if he pays for it too…

5. To dream of: How long, whatever her imagination powers be, how long will a girl dream of Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp or the closer to home Abhay Deol? And then she knows the fantasies aren’t coming true… With a boyfriend I can dream of romantic beach walks, dark circle inducing midnight conversations, spin fairy tales, etc, etc. And chances are the dreams will come true. Fun, ain’t it?

6. Cute mid-day romance: Have a bad day? Fear not! Your personal mood swinger is here. Rough day at work? Just unburden it on him! He will listen to you, give solutions and you might even get a little something to perk you up! And I definitely want that little something. And what about cute romantic message sharing or chatting while in respective offices? Or sudden short sweet calls… Hmmm…

7. Bragging: Ever since I’ve hung out with girls, which is practically all my life, I’ve learnt one thing. Girls LOVE to brag about their bitter or better halves. And they can go on for hours. Generally I’m the one going “ooh” and “aaah” and “awesome” but what fun would it be if the tables turned and I could brag too! Yeah. You know what? He can cook too! And he cooked me a three course meal the other day and got me a tub of chocolate ice-cream… He even gifted me a day at the spa…

8.  Get drunk with: Booze is good and the company often makes it better. But drinking with friends always has disadvantages. You have respective homes to get back to and most often than not, you are alone. That not only means rationing your drinking but also means trying to stay sober enough to give the autowalla or cabbie directions to your place. But drinking with a boyfriend? Go all the way. Get sloshed! Talk total crap and he will still find it cute! And of course, the free ride home never hurts… There honey, see the unicorn?

9. To just be loved: Yes your friends love you. So does family. And loads of people. But being loved by that special someone is completely different. It’s a beautiful world where just the two of you exist and there’s no need for anyone else. You can be you and he understands. You need not be you and he still understands. Love, I just felt like talking…

10. T.H.I.S: No, no, not an acronym like Granger’s S.P.E.W. It is just This. This post. What levels of boredom have I reached to start writing such lame posts? And this clearly proves the 500+ contacts on FB and the yet-to-be-counted contacts on my phone are surely of no use in cases of extreme boredomness. No offense to anyone, but I guess I’m just a moody woman hard to please. Hopefully my knight in Armani armour will whisk me away to a boredom-free land…

*To kindly be taken with a pinch of salt, iced tequila and a lemon wedge.